Welcome to our new interview series tagged “After The Vows”.🔥🔊📢🎻🎺
Here, single sisters get to drink from the well of wisdom and experience of our married sisters.
I am Temitope, your host for this wonderful conversation. Today, we have our amazing sister and WILD leader Seun, freely pour out wise counsel from her well of experience. Please take your time to drink and let the Holy Spirit guide you on how to apply the points that resonate with you to your life.
Let’s dive in!
INTERVIEWER: Please tell us your name and what you do.
SEUN: I am Oluwaseun Aderemi, homeschooling mum and an entrepreneur.
INTERVIEWER: Homeschooling? Wow! Super well done, ma! It’s a pleasure to have you with us today, Mrs Seun.
For how long have you been married?
SEUN: 12 years and still counting.
INTERVIEWER: Wooow, 12 solid years! Glory to God!
I’m sure in the span of these 12 years, there have been countless beautiful memories. Do you mind sharing with us the most memorable of them?
SEUN: Like you said, there are many beautiful moments, but if I’m to mention just one I’d say it’s the day hubby and I decided to bury the hatchet concerning what would have cost us this happy home we have now.
INTERVIEWER: Thank God for the wisdom and grace He gives us to overcome every hurdle/hatchet in our relationships. What does submission in marriage mean to you?
SEUN: Submission in marriage simply means dying to self, obeying the one (husband) that God has placed over you. Even in the face of confusion and sometimes, when you can see that what he (hubby) is asking you to do is not the right thing, you first submit and not try to win him over by argument, rather you do so on your knees.
INTERVIEWER: Dying to SELF is so key in marriage and I truly agree that the right way to win is through worded prayers that yield results rather than worded arguements that rarely yield the desired result but rather brings strife.
This leads us to the next question burning in my heart: what are the things you wish you knew or did before getting married?
SEUN: I wish I had a good mentor to explain in details the ups and downs that are inevitable in marriage.
I wish I knew the power of finances in marriage early on.
I wish I knew what submission truly starts before marriage although no one knows it all. Thanks to God for the on-job training HE gives to me every time, plus the pruning(s) which are always hard but no one says it’s gonna be easy anyways.
INTERVIEWER: All these are key aspects that we need knowledge on before marriage and even in marriage. Although no one knows it all, those who have the opportunity to prepare and learn these things before marriage are better equipped for the journey. And for those who don’t have the opportunity, it’s a good thing that we have a Father that not only directs us but also guides us through it all as we journey through life.
Another question that we need your insight on is: How do you maintain your identity, that is, who you are at the core, while serving your family generously?
SEUN: Well, it is not a day thing but rather, evolving always. I often re-iterate to myself that, “I am the woman for the job”, “I am not lost in the crowd of all i am going through.”
I try to remind myself and sometimes look inwards to my years before marriage (introspection); from there I pick up myself as “that vibrant, God-fearing young girl, an achiever, etc”.
So when pressures, family responsibilities (domestic duties and all) want to swallow me up like the Red Sea, I snap out of it.
There are times and days I feel overwhelmed, I must confess. However, reading about marriage has helped me a lot. Reading and reading, learning, re-learning and unlearning some stuff, belonging to The WILD community, have helped me a great deal.
Also, keeping a positive mind about all things has helped me. Come to think of it, my marriage (home) would have been shipwrecked if not for this positivity. All and sundry were seeing my home (marriage) capsize but my positive outlook gave everyone and me inclusive, the energy and belief that this my home will make it through the deep and indeed WE MADE IT!
Let me add this: there can never be a positive outlook without the word “FAITH”. My daily confessions about myself help me, too. Words are so powerful; now think of the word of God: EVER LIVING AND POWERFUL.
“And the Word (Christ) became flesh (human, incarnate) and tabernacled (fixed His tent of flesh, lived awhile) among us; and we [actually] saw His glory (His honor, His majesty), such glory as an only begotten son receives from his father, full of grace (favor, loving-kindness) and truth.” [Isaiah 40:5] John 1:14 AMPC
My daily confessions about myself and the woman I am aspiring to and daily becoming, became flesh and sits and dines with me all day everyday.
INTERVIEWER: The depths in these words… wooow! Faith in the word of God is super powerful. It’s the booster and energizer we need when life’s issues try to throw us off balance. Our confessions are powerful, while introspection reminds us of our core values and who we are at the centre of our being and more importantly, whose we are.
And since we belong to ELOHIM, being overwhelmed is not in our DNA but triumphing definitely is.
You mentioned something about you having to learn and unlearn some stuff, what is one new thing that you learnt about yourself in marriage?
SEUN: I learnt that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am sometimes amazed at myself at how I successfully scale out of hurdles.
INTERVIEWER: Christ our SOLID ROCK! He truly strengthens and helps us out of challenging situations and hurdles.
Just before I let you go, please share in one sentence your advice to single ladies preparing for marriage.
SEUN: My advice is:
📌 Wait and hear because God speaks.
📌 Marriage is a life-long contract so you must be sure and double sure about who you want to pitch the tent of life with.
📌 Delay is not denial and a broken relationship (especially for a relationship that is not God-ordained) is a huge blessing from Abba.
📌 A church goer is different from a believer (a bornagain Christian).
📌 It’s only by grace that you can change a man who is not a believer.
📌 Marriage takes a lot of sacrifice so better marry a person you can sacrifice for and not bat an eyelid.
📌 Prayer cannot be overemphasized before and while in marriage.
Ah!!! I am to say just a sentence? Pardon my sermon, please.
INTERVIEWER: Hahaha, apparently a sentence couldn’t sum up all these words of wisdom you have shared with us today. Each key point is loaded; thank you for sharing as led by the Holy Spirit. Your sermon is well recieved and appreciated.
I must confess, I learnt a lot from this interview and I believe YOU, our reader, learnt a thing or two from it, too. So, please share with us your key takeaway(s) from this interview in the comments.
Also, as you go about your daily activities, do remember that it is through Christ alone that we can do all things.
Stay blessed and prayed up, Sis.
Lots of Love,
Temitope, for the WILD Editorial Team.